The core of your writing whilst appearing agreeable at first, did not really sit very well with me personally after some time. Somewhere within the paragraphs you actually were able to make me a believer but just for a very short while. I however have a problem with your jumps in logic and you would do nicely to fill in those breaks. If you can accomplish that, I would definitely end up being fascinated.
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The core of your writing whilst appearing agreeable at first, did not really sit very well with me personally after some time. Somewhere within the paragraphs you actually were able to make me a believer but just for a very short while. I however have a problem with your jumps in logic and you would do nicely to fill in those breaks. If you can accomplish that, I would definitely end up being fascinated.